Everyone needs love. Without love, life would be incomplete and uninteresting. We all desire a love that is real, true, strong, deep and lasts for all times because of the importance of love to living. This makes the young and adult to desperately seek love. Unfortunately, in doing this they often get heartache, bitterness and pain because they lack understanding of what love is and what it is not.
Many ignorantly are willing to give anything to experience love, particularly from the opposite sex. “Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned” Proverbs 8:7.
Therefore in this discourse, it is very important to talk about what true love isn't before talking about what itis.
What True Love Isn't
Many people mistake real love for emotions and other experiences, but true and real love is far from these.
*True Love Isn't Infatuation. Infatuation is an obsessively strong admiration or interest in someone or something, and it is usually marked by a sense of excitement and euphoria that makes one feel light-headed, breathless and starry-eyed. It is purely "self-centred" rather than other-centred. This is the kind of unreasonable love at first sight that Shechem the son of Harmon had for Dinah the daughter of Jacob, Gen. 34:1-2. This(Infatuation) made him act irrationally and reckless with his emotions. He raped Dinah and brought humiliation, affliction and death upon his household.
*True Love Isn't Lust. Most of the time, Lust and love are often confused in our minds, music, movies, magazines and our culture generally. Howbeit, there is a great and distinct difference between Love and lust.
2 Sam 13:1-2 Shows the lustful heart of Amnon, the son of David towards Tamar, his half-sister. "Amnon fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill" (A desperate love is lust) with the evil advice of Amnon'sfriend, he decided a scheme of obtaining his inflamed and enraged lustful desires, by raping Tamar.
Therefore, Love and Lust are not the same, they cannot coexist. Love is a virtue that brings good, while lust is a plaque that brings evil. Love gives; lust takes. Love values; lust uses. Love endures; lust subsides. Love heals; lust hurts.
*True Love Isn't Romance. It is possible to experience emotional fireworks when a girl throws her arms around a boy and kiss him. Blushing look with romantic words can make someone feel so good on the inside. Enjoying each other’s caresses over candlelight dinner, mood music with slow dances can be wonderful but it's not LOVE. Romance is an overwhelming feeling; real love is much more.
* True Love Isn't Sex. Sex is an extravagant short-lived passion and if it operates alone, it could bring disappointment and heartbreak. Teenagers and adults alike confuse the intensity of sex with the intimacy of love. However, the two are distinct. Love is a process; sex is an act.
Love is learned; sex is instinctive. Love requires constant attention; sex takes no effort. Love takes time to develop and mature; sex needs no time to develop. Love requires emotional and spiritual interaction; sex requires only physical interaction.
The story of Amnon and Tamar earlier mentioned (2 Sam 13:1-14) revealed that love isn't sex. After Amnon had ravished Tamar in the intensity of his sexual urge, the consequence was extreme hatred and abandonment of her.
To be continued…..
