There are countless reasons and ways people care about someone which is being confused as love. The problem is because the English Language has only one word for such actions...Love.
Therefore, reasons and ways people care about and love someone is classified into three major types. In this discourse, we will talk about the three major types of love or ways of behaving and see which of them is true and real.
Types of Love
1. Eros Love - Conditional Love
Eros type of love is classified under conditional love. The goal of this love is to get personal expectations, sexual desires or romantic urges satisfied at the expense of the other person. Its motivation is selfish; this kind of love is given or received if certain conditions are met.
Eros love is just like infatuation or lust, and it's not a positive love. Unfortunately, this is the type of love many young ones practice today. When someone expects you to win his/her love by meeting sexual or other demands, such love is cheap. It will not satisfy and is never worth the price. You realise that when such demands are not met, they withdraw their so-called love without you knowing why and this will bring disappointment and heartbreak.
Dear young reader, it is high time you grew out of this tit-for-tat approach to life. Eros love is not true and real because it is self-centred and it's all about getting. It requires certain conditions to be met before love is given. Eros love is not true love because true love is self-giving and unconditional.
2. Philia Love - Conditional Love
It's a love you give or take from someone for a reason or more. It means someone is loved because of something. It could be the person's attitudes, beauty, career, family background or personality expressed etc.
Many viewed eros as dangerous, but see philia as better because Eros kind of love is constantly earned but Philia is less demanding. But the question is that what happens when the reason another person loves you is no longer there? What if someone comes to know another person who can best express the reason why you are being loved? This shows how superficial and temporal this kind of love is.
Therefore, Philia kind of love is not real; it's purely a conditional love - given because of some attractive qualities in the person who is being loved.
3. Agape Love - Unconditional Love
Agape love is the love we give freely to others regardless of who they are. This love says "I love you without condition." "I love you, PERIOD!"
Sometimes, Agape love is referred to as universal love, charity, or unconditional love. This kind of love is the only true, real, and unconditional love. It cannot be shaken by the ups and downs of life. It is not altered by superficial benefits and failures.
This love is not blind; it knows about another person's shortcomings and accepts them without any strings attached.
The one being loved does nothing to earn it.
According to the bible, true and real love is manifesting when the happiness, health, and spiritual growth of another person is as important to you as your own. Matt 22:39 says "Love your neighbour as yourself".
This biblical attribute is found in "agape love". It will not emotionally or physically exploit or abuse the other person. It will not pressure the other person to have sex outside marriage. It will show concern and care for the other person without any desire to control that person. It will give without expecting in return.
God is the best example of Agape love. "For God so loved the world that he gave..."(John 3:16). Jesus is the Love of God for mankind. Therefore, involve the Lord in your search for true love. If you want to show true love in your relationship, you must first receive the love of God that is accepting, affirming, selfless and unconditional. You can obtain it by faith in Jesus Christ and accept him as your Lord and Saviour.
to be continued...
